Old lady to another: I don’t like toilet paper. I think it’s such a waste.
Mt. Vernon, New York
Overheard by: Not sure if I should laugh or puke
Old lady to another: I don’t like toilet paper. I think it’s such a waste.
Mt. Vernon, New York
Overheard by: Not sure if I should laugh or puke
Whiny-voiced 20-something: My period showed up two days early and ruined my weekend plans with that guy I was seeing.
20-something with baby: My period showed up two weeks late, stuck me with this, and ruined my life. Pass me one of those shirts in a medium?
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Katie F
Large white lady to small Mexican husband: I’m bleeding. [Pokes hubby, who ignores her.] Heyyy, I’m bleeding from my neck! Don’t you care?! [Hubby puts headphones on and looks out window.] I wish I knew you didn’t speak English before I married you!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/perfect-couple.html
Overheard by: corwin
Hot girl: Either my dog is eating my underwear, or my vagina is so acidic it’s burning holes in them… Neither of which I would be pleased about.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Dude #1: Have you seen her lately?
Dude #2: Yeah, she looks great, except for the bulimia!
Dude #1: Really? She looks good?
Dude #2: Yeah, except her face looks like Skeletor.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/379925865/great-ass-though.html
Overheard by: give her a sandwich
Man to friend: I think the worst part about this whole cancer thing is that his smell has changed.
Boston, Massachusetts
Teen girl #1: I wish a jellyfish would sting me so some handsome guy would run along the beach, whip out his dick and pee on me.
Teen girl #2: What?
Teen girl #1: To neutralize the sting, dumbass.
Teen girl #2: I know that. But still: what?
Carleton University
Ottawa
Canadia
Large black woman on cell: Girl! I’m tellin’ you, I don’t know where I gots them warts on my feets. But they nasty! I don’t want to give them to nobody else, so I brought me some lil’ socks, you know… Them cushy foots? Not like Earl, who goes barefoot all over the city with them mushroom funguses on his toes. His toenails be like baby powder! They all crumbly and shit.
Detroit Metro Airport
Detroit, Michigan
Overheard by: Trying not to barf (and glad I wore socks)
Woman, dropping friend off at airport, then heading to doctor's office: Enjoy your two weeks in France.
Friend: Thanks, enjoy your colonoscopy.
Airport
Ithaca, New York
Little girl to mom: My stomach controls me!
Campsite, California
