Young mother to four-year-old boy: C'mon, sweetie, let's wash your hands.
Sarcastic father: Yeah, dude, you're disgusting.
Boy (increasingly louder): Yes. I am disgusting. You know what else is disgusting? My penis!
IHOP
Hammond, Louisiana
Overheard by: The Only Small Press in Bumfuck
Girl #1: Why did they all look at you like you were on heroin?
Girl #2: I don't know. I always act like I am on heroin, but I just take Xanax.
Mall
Virginia
Man on cell: Well, yeah, I think it was worth it, considering how much money I made… (pause) Well, my mouth really hurts, and I think I need some antibiotics.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: i swear this is not made up
Philosophy teacher: Nowadays we see faith as blind belief. Is that fair to say?
Blind student: No.
Philosophy teacher: Right, why?
Blind student: I never believe anything blindly.
Santa Ana College
California
Overheard by: Frankie1way
Old lady to another: I don’t like toilet paper. I think it’s such a waste.
Mt. Vernon, New York
Overheard by: Not sure if I should laugh or puke
Whiny-voiced 20-something: My period showed up two days early and ruined my weekend plans with that guy I was seeing.
20-something with baby: My period showed up two weeks late, stuck me with this, and ruined my life. Pass me one of those shirts in a medium?
Springfield, Illinois
Overheard by: Katie F
Large white lady to small Mexican husband: I’m bleeding. [Pokes hubby, who ignores her.] Heyyy, I’m bleeding from my neck! Don’t you care?! [Hubby puts headphones on and looks out window.] I wish I knew you didn’t speak English before I married you!
http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/06/perfect-couple.html
Overheard by: corwin
Hot girl: Either my dog is eating my underwear, or my vagina is so acidic it’s burning holes in them… Neither of which I would be pleased about.
Charlotte, North Carolina
Dude #1: Have you seen her lately?
Dude #2: Yeah, she looks great, except for the bulimia!
Dude #1: Really? She looks good?
Dude #2: Yeah, except her face looks like Skeletor.
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/379925865/great-ass-though.html
Overheard by: give her a sandwich
Man to friend: I think the worst part about this whole cancer thing is that his smell has changed.
Boston, Massachusetts
