Health & Hygiene

Ride operator: This ride goes over 90 miles an hour… in your mind. We don't know if we can actually do that… without killing you. Enjoy.

Six Flags Magic Mountain
Valencia, California

Overheard by: praying the seatbelts don't fail

Cute boyfriend to girlfriend: I am so glad you eat!

Washington, DC

Middle-aged man on bus: I made the mistake of letting my grandkids come over Saturday. They are nothing but little virus factories!

http://overheardinpdx.blogspot.com/2007/08/offspring.html

Overheard by: micah

Finnish lady: They waited years to diagnose him so now of course he's got a lot of luggage.
American lady: Wait, don't you mean baggage?
Finnish lady: Luggage?
American lady: Baggage.
Finnish lady: Baggage, luggage.
Brazilian man, totally bewildered: Suitcases?

West Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Sprightly

Student: So wait, the Amish have, like, all natural steroids?

Tempe, Arizona

Overheard by: J.

Blonde 20-something to sister: This morning I was rinsing my mouth with mouthwash and also peeing, and then I realized I had to sneeze and I was like, “uh oh…this can only end poorly” …because I was kind of stuck.

Bellingham, Washington

Girl #1: I used to be really good friends with her, but then we got in a fight.
Girl #2: How come?
Girl #1: Well, I gave her lice.

Rockingham Mall
Salem, New Hampshire

Girl, exiting SAT test: So how'd it go?
Friend, excitedly: I drew a bunny!

SAT Testing Center
Eugene, Oregon

Teenage girl #1 in high school bathroom: I'm excited that I'm pregnant, it just sucks that I'll have to give up drinking.
Teenage girl #2: Why? I didn't!

Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: not surprised

Redneck woman: He said that he could tell she really dug him because she farted in front of him.
Friend: Oh, she'll fart in front of anybody!

Square Mall
Hammond, Louisiana

Overheard by: pull my finger