Young topologist: It would be so cool to be a chef, because, like, what you cook would be inside people who eat your food.
Creative Arts High School
St. Paul, Minnesota
Young topologist: It would be so cool to be a chef, because, like, what you cook would be inside people who eat your food.
Creative Arts High School
St. Paul, Minnesota
College girl, surprised: You went on a blind date last night?
College boy: Yeah, she was nice. She's gonna be a nurse.
Sketchy friend: Dude, that's awesome! Y'know, nurses make the best porn stars.
Coffeeshop
Burlington, Vermont
Boy: I should be a rent-a-cop.
Girl #1, laughing: You'd be the least believable rent-a-cop ever.
Girl #2: Yeah, they might mistake you for a gay stripper.
Tempe, Arizona
Man at bar: What do you girls do for a living?
Attractive women: We’re in sales, you?
Man: You’re in sales? I think you need a career change.
Women: I’m sorry, what do you do?
Man: I’m with the carnival.
Country Bar
Fort Worth, Texas
(group of teen girls on field trip)
Bored niece: Hey! Let's call my aunt in California. She's a psychic. (dials phone) Hi, we are bored and thought we'd call and ask you psychic questions.
Bored niece's friend: Ask her what my stage name would be if I became a stripper.
Lake Atlanta Park
Rogers, Arkansas
Overheard by: Yes, I have shoes and all of my teeth.
(the road is closed for Chinese New Year parade)
Bus driver: Folks, we’ll be alright. We’re going to take a right on Sansome, a left on Broadway, and a left on Stockton. We’ll rejoin the original route at Stockton and Sacramento. Don’t worry. Everything will be alright. As long as I still get paid, it’s okay.
San Francisco, California
Chocolate store girl: You’re a dicksucker. You know that? I mean, why bother with you? You seen my ass, you know I’m good-looking. You’re-.
Guy in Goofy costume, muffled: Whatever. There are other tits. I’ll be just fine regardless. And just so you know [lowers voice as kids approach] you’re gonna get us both fired if you keep this shit up.
Chocolate store girl, loudly: Fuck you, and fuck your fucking ass! I hope you get fired! Then you can go home and suck your asshole!
Guy in Goofy costume, losing it: Better than sucking your ex’s dick when you’re supposed to be working.
Chocolate store girl, stunned: Who told you that?!
Guy in Goofy costume: Jen, after I fucked her!
[Girl walks into the shop quickly and goes into back room looking like she’s going to cry. Goofy goes back to wandering around aimlessly, waving to little kids.]
Disney World
Orlando, Florida
Overheard by: after that, my g/f and i applied for jobs there
Girl: Kelly from work just texted me.
Guy: She's the really nice one, right?
Girl: Yeah.
Guy: Who's the one who's not nice?
Girl: Everyone else.
Frederick, Maryland
20-something girl to another: You remind me a lot of my old boss. But she was older than you and she got hit by a dump truck.
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Karen
Chick: All I want is a lifetime supply of weed and to be put in charge of the retards.
Blue Bricks Bar
http://www.overheardinminneapolis.com/2007/04/if_you_dont_have_your_dreams_y.html
Overheard by: but I’m in charge of the retards
