Chick #1: Do you want some peanut M&Ms?
Chick #2: No, thanks.
Chick #1: They touched my crotch.
Chick #2: In that case, sure!
High School Bus
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Chick #1: Do you want some peanut M&Ms?
Chick #2: No, thanks.
Chick #1: They touched my crotch.
Chick #2: In that case, sure!
High School Bus
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Julia
Little boy holding a dog leash: OK, I’ll be the dog and you be the owner.
Little girl: OK!
Little boy: No, wait, you be the dog and I’ll be the owner.
Little girl: Don’t even *think* about it!
Beaverton, Oregon
Guy on phone: Yo, g, I'm gonna go out to the club and get me some Pad Thai chicken. Hell yeah, you know what I'm talking about. K, peace.
Paralegal: What the fuck? Why Pad Thai? Why not Kung Pao?
Guy: Cause I don't want all that attitude up in my chicken. I want my chicken to sit down and shut the fuck up!
Paralegal: Get out of my office.
Chicago, Illinois
Exasperated mom to young daughter (referring to a stuffed beaver): Quit messing with that beaver! (pause) and that's the last time I ever want to say that sentence!
Ikea
Frisco, Texas
Overheard by: Becca
Girl: Oh, I'm doing Zumba today at five.
Guy: What's Zumba? Can I do Zumba?
Girl: Well…you can.
Guy: I can?
Girl: Yeah, it's not like there's a sign that says “No penises allowed.”
Guy: But “no penises” is implied.
University of Miami
Florida
Guy to hugely pregnant woman: There's a party Saturday–you should come after you give birth.
Princeton, New Jersey
Overheard by: pie
Guy, chuckling: Can you give me a blowjob?
Girl, also chuckling: No! Why would I do that?
Guy: Come on! Please?
Girl: No! (laughs)
Guy: Why not?
Girl: Just… No. Guy, please, there has to be some reason, just, why not?
Girl: There is no reason, I'm just not giving you a blowjob.
Guy: Oh. Come on! Please? There has to be a reason why.
Girl: I'm not giving you a blowjob because… (sighs) My mom says you would be a choking hazard, and I don't want to choke.
High School
Canadia
Girl, pointing at KFC: Don't eat there. They're mean to the chickens.
Keene, New Hampshire
Overheard by: Really?
White trash mother, hurrying five-year-old out of bathroom: C'mon, let's go!
Five-year-old: But I want to wash my hands!
White trash mother: (sighs) Fine, but make it quick.
Five-year-old: Yay!
Lamberts Cafe
Sikeston, Missouri
Overheard by: Grossed Out
Dutch flight attendant, collecting airsick bags: Vomit? Vomit? Vomit? Vomit? Thank you. Vomit? Vomit, sir?
NWA Flight
Newark Airport, New Jersey
Overheard by: Ladle
