Questions

Tayal tribesman bus driver: Sir, do you want to get off at this stop?
Old man: Yes, I want off at this stop, I am going to the dentist's.
Bus driver: What's wrong?
Old man: I have to have a tooth pulled. Can you believe that? I'm 82 but I still have to have a tooth pulled.
Bus driver: If you're going to have one pulled, you may as well have a bunch taken out.
Old man: That won't do, false teeth are expensive.
Bus driver: Then have boar tusks put in.
Old man: Boar tusks?
Bus driver (very earnestly): Yes, you can have two tusks put in on the lower jaw, and when they grow, they'll look great! (uses his fingers to demonstrate how the tusks would look growing out of his mouth)
Old man (laughing): It would take a long time for them to grow.
Bus driver: Not long! You're an old boar, but I'm just a young boar, so yours would grow much faster than mine!
(old man gets off bus laughing cheerfully)

http://talovich.blogspot.com/2008_08_01_archive.html#4067720002953022860

Overheard by: Yugan Dali

Hipster: You're buying an Ethiopian? I did that once.

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Tickle Feet

Middle-aged woman: What the fuck is ‘W-T-F’?

Exmouth, Devon
United Kingdom

Overheard by: Bernard

Girl to friend: So, how many skirts do you know that are made for the figure of a man?

Priestley College
Warrington
England

Overheard by: RuncornianAsh

Teacher: Okay, now what you do think is the chance of being killed by being struck by lightning?
Bimbette: Ummmm… probably like, one in two.
Class: (silence)
Teacher: One in two?
Bimbette: Wait! Make that one in ten.

Classroom
Sydney
Australia

Seemingly not-crazy lady on elevator: Have you seen any aliens today?
Man: Not yet, but it’s still pretty early.
Seemingly not-crazy lady: I hope I don’t see any; I don’t have any spit.

Fox Plaza
San Francisco, California

Overheard by: Uses spit for lube

Patron #1: How are you tonight?
Patron #2: Well, I'm currently disappointed in humanity.

Bar
Columbus, Indiana

Overheard by: Projection1234

Young woman shouting to older gentleman: Why can't Dr Molar do his own wife?

Olive Garden
Indianapolis, Indiana

Guy #1: So what I'm not clear on is how the penis and vagina work.
Guy #2: Well, how are you doing on STDs?
Guy #1: I'm still a little unsure about some, but I have syphilis down pat!

Finger Lakes Community College
New York

Mom to three-year-old son under the table: Whatcha’ doin’ under there, buddy?
Three-year-old son: Playing volleyball.
Dad: Volleyball? Smells like you’re pooping your pants.
Three-year-old son, giggling: I am.
Three-year-old son’s sister to friend: See, I told you it wasn’t the food.

Los Tres Amigos Mexican Restaurant
Michigan

Overheard by: Scott