Was I Awake?

Tipsy girlfriend, playing “Never Have I Ever”: Never have I ever done 69 with anyone.
Boyfriend: Ping.
Girlfriend: What?! Who did you 69?!
Boyfriend: You, fool!
Girlfriend: Oh.

Ohio University
Athens, Ohio

Overheard by: outfirst

Posted on March 16, 2026
Colleges & Universities, Comebacks, Couples, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Games, Girls, Guys, Ohio, Questions, Relationships, Sex

Do I Need to Show You the Algorithm Again?

Guy: I would ask her out, but she’s just so dumb. I mean, like, soo dumb.
Girl: Can’t you just overlook that for one night?
Guy: She’s not quite cute enough.

San Jose, California

Posted on March 15, 2026
Beauty, California, Girls, Guys, Questions, Relationships, Stupidity

Try the Cap’n Cramps

Woman in cereal aisle: Where’s the one that makes you poop?

Fry’s
Tucson, Arizona

Posted on March 14, 2026
Arizona, Default, Food, Health & Hygiene, Poop, Questions, Stores, Women

Baby Needs a New Pair of Clear Heels

Hooker: Hey baby, you looking for a good time?
Guy: Haha, hell no.
Hooker: Fine. All right then. Next!

Waikiki, Hawaii

Posted on March 14, 2026
Guys, Hawaii, Hooker, Offers and requests, Questions, Sex

…Whom I’d Started Dating in Geometry

Boy #1, talking to friend in between classes: Hey what did you do in English?
Boy #2: Oh… I broke up with Jessica*.

Berryhill High School
Oklahoma

Overheard by: BlakeMas

Posted on March 12, 2026
Compare and contrast, Education, Guys, Oklahoma, Questions, Relationships, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teens

What Happened to the Other…. Actually, I Don’t Wanna Know

New homeowner: Did you ever find out what was causing that smell?
Worker: Yep.
New homeowner: What was it?
Worker: I’m not gonna tell ya.
New homeowner: Come on, what was it?
Worker, with a serious face and tone: You’ve got about four and a half to five opossums underneath your house.

Huntington, West Virginia

Overheard by: Jess

Posted on March 11, 2026
Animals, Clients, Construction workers, Death & dying, Health & Hygiene, Questions, Sensory experiences, West Virginia

Good to Know Fast Food Joints Are Just As Classy Outside the U.S.

Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Does the McDuplo come with fries?
Mcworker: Only if you get the combo. Would you like the combo?
Crazy hobo in McDonald’s line: Son of a bitch! This is McDonald’s. I want fries with my fucking sandwich. [he throws up on the floor, then walks away muttering.]Mcworker to other mcworker: I wish I was dead.

McDonald’s
Belo Horizonte
Brazil

Posted on March 10, 2026
Brazil, Coworkers, Crazies, Customers, Death & dying, Etiquette, Food, Hobos, McDonald's, Offers and requests, Questions, Wishes

Don’t Worry –It Was Completely Consensual

Adult woman to girlfriend’s six-year-old daughter: Oh honey! You got your knees all skinned up with boo boos! What happened?
Six-year-old girl, shrugging: Oh, you know… Boys.

South 4th St
Louisville , Kentucky