Stop Being White in Popeye’s!

Black girl #1: Okay, I know what I’m getting. Do you know what you’re getting?
White girl: I’ve never been here before. Let me look for a while. [Pauses, then yells.] Wait a minute! Popeye’s a sailor; Why does he sell chicken?
Black girl #2: Oh my god, shut up now or no more vodka for you for the rest of the night!
White girl: Okay. [Giggles.] I’m sorry.
[Black girls start talking to each other.]White girl, yelling: Why are there no white people in here?!
Black girl #1: Aww fuck, take her outside to the car. This is her first and last time ever coming here!

Popeye’s
Trenton, New Jersey

Posted on October 12, 2019
Advice, Black people, Compare and contrast, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Food, Friends, Girls, New Jersey, Questions, Race, Restaurants, Threats, Wishes

A Family Tradition I’ve Been Staunch about Continuing

Drunk woman: … And that’s how my parents hooked up! My dad was a drunk dialer!

Outside George’s
Waco, Texas

Posted on July 5, 2019
Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Family ties, Memory lane, Relationships, Restaurants, Texas, Women

As Long As You Don’t Lie in the Same Bed Together, It’s All Good

Man: What does it say in the bible about punching your son in the face?

Starbucks
Durham, North Carolina

Overheard by: wondering the same thing myself

Posted on April 26, 2019
Books, Guys, North Carolina, Offspring, Parenting, Questions, Religion, Restaurants, Violence

And This Money Isn’t Even Green!

Middle-aged American tourist woman: The rooms here have strange plugs, I simply cannot use my curling iron! This is outrageous… I want to see the manager immediately!

Hotel Restaurant
Munich
Germany

Overheard by: Dru

Posted on April 15, 2019
Clients, Compare and contrast, Germany, Gripes, Idiots, Restaurants, Technology, Tourists, Wishes, Women

The Same Reason I Snort the Pretty White Dust

(mother pouring sugar in her coffee)
Little boy: Mom, why do you drink dirty water?
Mother: Because of you.

Starbucks
Chicago, Illinois

Posted on March 30, 2019
Default, Illinois, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Restaurants

But I Have Bought His Ashes on eBay

Guy in Mexican restaurant: Have you ever met the Pope?
Girl in Mexican restaurant: No. He's dead.

Groton, Connecticut

Overheard by: Newt

Posted on December 5, 2018
Connecticut, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Guys, Questions, Religion, Restaurants

None Of Your Five-Dollar-Footlong Parents for Us!

Lady to guy eating a sub: But both mine and his parents' are life-sized!

Sub Factory
Tempe, Arizona

Posted on October 26, 2018
Arizona, Default, Family ties, Restaurants, Weirdness, Women

Evidence That Sex and the City Would've Been a Lot More Interesting If It Had Involved Plus-Sized Sistahs

Plus-size sistah: And that damn condom came off!
Friend: Oh, shit, girl! What happened?
Plus-size sistah: I dunno. It's still up in there.
Friend: What? How long?
Plus-size sistah: It's been three days. I can't reach that bitch!
Friend: Girl! That's nasty! And if you askin' what I think you askin', you can forget it!

Restaurant, Chinatown
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Joe

Posted on September 21, 2018
Biotechs, Condoms, Fat people, Friends, Questions, Restaurants, Vagina, Washington, DC, Weirdness

Riverdale Hasn't Been the Same Since Archie Went Off the Rails

Teenage girl #1: I mean, what's the point of dating an ugly, short, junior with herpes and acne if he doesn't even have his learner's permit?
Teenage girl #2: Shut up and eat.

Shari's Restaurant
Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on September 8, 2018
Age and ageing, Beauty, Default, Girls, Offers and requests, Oregon, Questions, Relationships, Restaurants, STDs, Teens

And With Oysters There's No Guarantee Of Pearls

Loud 20-something girl: Ew! Oysters taste like cum!
Quiet, conservative-looking 20-something girl: No, they don't! (immediately gets embarrassed and receives high fives from others at the table)

The Chimes
Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Posted on August 28, 2018
Compare and contrast, Cum, Default, Food, Girls, Louisiana, Restaurants

Restaurants