Religious Freedom's Expensive

Teacher: Why did the Pilgrims come to America?
Student: Because they wanted to dig for gold!
(later)
Teacher: Why did the Puritans come to America?
Student: Oh! I know this one! They're the ones that wanted to dig for gold!

East Greenbush, New York

Posted on July 18, 2009
Education, History, New York, Questions, Students, Stupidity, Teachers, Wishes

Eventually I Quit My Job and Began Living Off the Settlements

Black man jaywalking into oncoming traffic: I always loved playing in traffic. Ever since I was little. There's something wrong with me, man!

Scranton, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: reluctant scrantonian

Posted on July 16, 2009
Age and ageing, Black people, Pennsylvania, Stupidity

AndNone Of Your Trickery Is Going to Get Me to Admit That We Do

Patron: Double cheeseburger and small fries, please.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.
Patron: What sizes do you have?
Counter boy: Medium, large and extra large.
Patron: Which size is the smallest?
Counter boy: Medium is the smallest.
Patron: Fine. I'll take the smallest, then.
Counter boy: We don't have small fries.

McDonald's
Bloomington, Indianapolis

Posted on July 14, 2009
Clients, Employees, Food, Indiana, Offers and requests, Questions, Stupidity

I Get All My Internet News from the Radio

Teen girl: Hey guys! I heard there's going to be like, a digital Armageddon today!
Teen boy: I think that's a hoax.
Teen girl: No, but I heard it on the radio (pause) They wouldn't have reported it like that if it was fake.

Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: H. G. Wells

Posted on July 14, 2009
Lies, Pennsylvania, Pop culture, Stupidity, Technology, Teens

Have You Been Smoking Under the Fire Sprinklers Again?

Dude #1: Man, I hope it doesn't rain, I left my windows down.
Dude #2: It did rain just a little while ago.
Dude #1: Where? Outside?
Dude #2: What?

Lafayette, Louisiana

Posted on July 12, 2009
Guys, Louisiana, Questions, Stupidity, Weather, Wishes

I'm Beginning to Suspect They're Not Twist-Off

Girl #1: Yeah, bananas cost less than apples.
Girl #2: No way, I'd totally choose apples over bananas.
Girl #1: Really? I'd choose bananas, they fill me up more.
Girl #2, thoughtfully: I can't open bananas.

Canadia

Posted on July 11, 2009
Canadia, Compare and contrast, Fruit, Girls, Money, Stupidity

…If It Were Spelled with a Silent T.

Teenager: Hey, which terminal is baggage claim?
Airport employee: Terminal T.
Teenager: Wait…which one?
Airport employee: Terminal T. “T” as in “Charlie.”

JFK Airport
New York City, New York

Overheard by:

Posted on July 9, 2009
Airports & flights, Employees, Names, New York, Public transportation, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Words

The Real Secret Behind Jared's Weight Loss.

Girl #1: I haven't kissed him in over a week because he has mono. But a couple days ago we went out to Subway, and then to my house to eat it and watch a movie. Well, he went home and I saw what I thought was my Subway cup, so I took a big swig out of it.
Girl #2: Oh, no!
Girl #1: Yeah, and I said “screw it!” and I just decided to make out with him, since I missed it so much. But I've been feeling a little crappy lately.
Girl #2: (stares)
Girl #1, thoughtfully: I hope I'm not getting sick. (pause) Oh, this shirt is cute!

UCCS
Colorado Springs, Colorado

Overheard by: Dazeys