Check Your Calendar and Get Back to Me

Woman to husband: Can you run me over on Saturday?

Train
Sydney
Australia

Posted on November 15, 2009
Australia, Couples, Offers and requests, Train, Violence, Weirdness

The Enemy Of My Imaginary Enemy Is My Imaginary Friend

Hip-hop thug on train bursts out, to no one in particular: Fuck you, man!
(spits on floor) You don't like it, do somethin' 'bout it. (pause) You want my dick? You want to be on my dick?
(silence).
Chica sitting opposite: Who are you talking to?
(hip-hop thug mumbles)
Chica: I don't think anyone wants to be on your dick.

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on September 10, 2009
Chicks, Insults, Massachusetts, Penis, Questions, Sex, Strangers, Threats, Thugs, Train, Wishes

That Would End the Fun and Games

Emo guy on cell: I've got to get on the electric snake now. I'll go wherever it takes me. (pause) Tell your mom not to lose an eye, ok?

B Line
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Smallison

Posted on August 4, 2009
Animals, Body parts, Guys, Massachusetts, On the phone, Parenting, Public transportation, Train

More Important Than You Knew

Brazilian guy to American: Pleeeeeaaase? Say it. Say it. Say “fucker de matriz” in English.
Brazilian girlfriend: He wants you to say (whispers) “motherfucker”.
American guy: Okay. (blandly) Motherfucker.
Brazilian guy: No! Like an American, please!
American guy: Huh? Oh, “muthafucka!”
Brazilian guy, laughing giddily and clapping: Yes! Yes! Muthafucka, excellent!

ViaRail Train
Canadia

Overheard by: Jim

Posted on July 30, 2009
Canadia, Couples, Foreigners, Insults, Offers and requests, Train, Wishes, Words

A Problem I Can Solve Simply by Getting a Drunker ID

Drunk college dude, explaining how he got kicked out of a club: They looked at my ID, then they looked at my face. My face was not as sober as my ID.

Metro, Orange Line
Washington, DC

Overheard by: funniest Metro ride ever

Posted on July 29, 2009
Body parts, Compare and contrast, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Students, Train, Washington, DC

I Just Did His Horoscope

Conductor: Do not buy anything from the man in the yellow shirt and white tennis shoes. He will be arrested.

Subway
Los Angeles, California

Posted on July 27, 2009
Advice, California, Clothes, Clothing, Conductors, Crimes, Public transportation, Train

In Hindsight, the Bible Could Have Been a Lot Worse

Young teenage girl with pink furry boots, rainbow hair, and seven facial piercings: Hey, if you were god, what would you do?
Young teenage boy with shaggy hair, acne, and a little boy face: I'd kill my foster parents.
Young teenage girl, totally ignoring her friend's response: I would totally make the world flat, so we could travel just by folding it in half. Imagine how much time and money I would save everyone!

Packed Train during Rush Hour
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Posted on July 24, 2009
Canadia, Family ties, God, Money, Murder, Questions, Stupidity, Teens, Time Management, Train, Wishes

Presenting, the Deepest Person at Banana Republic.

Aspiring fashionista: What if I die today and regret that I never dressed up all the time? But if I worked at Banana Republic, I'd be forced to dress up.

BART Train
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Kaitlen

Posted on July 19, 2009
California, Clothes, Death & dying, Fashion, Idiots, Jobs & Careers, Questions, Stupidity, Train

The Text Wouldn't All Fit.

Nerd #1 to another: How do you write “dd” in hexadecimal again? I forget…
(they turn to look at fat woman walking by)
Nerd #2: I would not write a dissertation on her boobs. No way.

PATH Train
Hoboken, New Jersey

Overheard by: I wouldn't either

Posted on July 18, 2009
Idiots, New Jersey, Questions, Rack, Science, Train, Words

Depends — Is It 1987?

Goth girl, looking at poster: Do you think that singing Weird Al in the middle of the train counts as suspicious behavior or unusual behavior?

H Line
Denver, Colorado

Posted on June 27, 2009
Colorado, Compare and contrast, Goths, Music, Public transportation, Questions, Train, Weirdness