That’s the Last Time I’ll Have an Orgy with a Family of Klutzes

Large woman: Your dad kicked me in the head!
Scrawny boyfriend: What?
Large woman: And then you kicked me in the head!

Fredericton, New Brunswick
Canadia

Overheard by: Marg

Posted on January 11, 2022
Canadia, Default, Family ties, Fat people, Gripes, Skinny people, Violence

Some Children Don't Blend Well

Little girl to friend: You little… Butter, I'm going to whip you up until you smell like rotten juice!

Park Playground
Tacoma, Washington

Posted on January 1, 2022
Compare and contrast, Food, Friends, Kids, Sensory experiences, Should have used a condom, Threats, Violence, Washington

I Remember the First Time I Felt the Sting for Forceable Intercourse and the Warmth Of Dirt…

Tour guide: The vestal virgins would be raped and buried alive if they were no longer virgins. If they let the fire go out, they would just be buried alive.
Tourist: I dunno if that's any better.
Little old Japanese woman: Hey, at least the first way you get some thrills.

Colosseum
Rome
Italy

Posted on December 3, 2021
Compare and contrast, Employees, Foreigners, History, Italy, Old folks, Religion, Sex, Tourists, Violence, Virginity

Nice Try– No Homosexual Calls Himself “Homosexual”

Stoner guitarist: I got shot in the dick with an Airsoft. Seriously, check this shit out. (unzips his pants)
Guy: Just to let you know, before you do that, I am a homosexual.

Local Show
Gulfport, Mississippi

Posted on November 25, 2021
Default, Guys, Mississippi, Penis, Queers, Sexuality, Violence

Both of Which Are Exceptions Under the Geneva Conventions

Girl: Erin's beating people.
Security guard: You're not really beating people, are you?
Erin: It's my birthday. Besides, it was someone I know.

Halifax
Nova Scotia
Canadia

Overheard by: girl in the front row

Posted on November 19, 2021
Canadia, Default, Girls, Guys, Names, Questions, Violence

…Has Been Selected As Our New State Motto

Art professor: Say goodbye to sex and violence and hello to boring allegories.

KSU
Manhattan, Kansas

Posted on November 6, 2021
Class, Compare and contrast, Education, Kansas, Sex, Teachers, Violence

We're Lucky the Wildfires Keep Us Safe

Girl #1: There are these bees in Asia, and they like shoot venom at you and it like eats your skin or something.
Girl #2: Wow, that's crazy, man! Remind me never to go to Africa.

High School
Scottsdale, Arizona

Posted on September 19, 2021
Animals, Arizona, Geography, Girls, Lies, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Stupidity, Violence

The Five-Second Rule Absolutely Applies to Boobs

Girl on birth control: I think my boobs grew!
Friend, grabbing her boob: Really?!
Girl's boyfriend, slapping friend's hand away: Hey, hey, too long!

Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on August 28, 2021
Couples, Friends, Girls, New Jersey, Rack, Violence, Weirdness

Save That Kind of Behavior for Old Navy

Queer #1: He punched him in the face right in the middle of Banana Republic.
Queer #2: That is so damn rude.

University of North Carolina-Chapel Hill
Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Posted on August 12, 2021
Colleges & Universities, Default, Gossip, Gripes, North Carolina, Queers, Violence

Suppose He'll Object to Playing with a White Ball?

Skinny Asian kid buying 24-pack of Keystone Light, to friend: I dunno man. I've never played beer pong against a black dude before.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/379793885/you-dont-know-what-youre-missing.html

Overheard by: Ian

Posted on August 1, 2021
Asians, Drinking & drunks, Games, Overheard in Minneapolis, Race, Violence

Violence