Boy: So, if you’re afraid of the leprechaun from that one movie, does that mean you’re afraid of the lucky charm leprechaun too?
Girl: No, no, no. I’m only afraid of the *real* ones.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: Amused
Boy: So, if you’re afraid of the leprechaun from that one movie, does that mean you’re afraid of the lucky charm leprechaun too?
Girl: No, no, no. I’m only afraid of the *real* ones.
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: Amused
Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: “Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children.” I would do it if I didn’t have hairy nipples.
Library
Plano, Texas
Guy: You know, I’m usually anti-slavery… Except when I drink, then I’m all for it.
Bar
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Grungy dude, pointing to expensive vacuum: You should get this one. It sucks up everything!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but I don’t have much carpet. I need, like, a Broom Vac or something.
Grungy dude: A Broom Vac?! Put down the crack pipe!
Target
Baltimore, Maryland
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.
Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey
Overheard by: Philly Joe
Guy to friends: No, I mean he’s really in love with her, like reeeeally in love. He left his trailer, and moved in with his parents.
Buffalo Wild Wings
Winchester, Virginia
Freshman theater student: So we were in acting class and we did this exercise where we had to portray mythological creatures, and afterwards when we were telling the class what we were, this one kid said: “I was Jesus!”
MBTA
Boston, Massachusetts
30-something guy to friend: Yeah, but you teabagging me does not mean you’re concerned about my safety!
Durham, North Carolina
Overheard by: good thing i’d already finished my taco
Drunk guy on cell: Dad, I can’t talk right now, I’m surrounded by FBI agents, but I’ve got your $100, your beer, and your marijuana. Oh, and your toilet paper. [Pause.] No, dad, FBI agents. [Pause.] I don’t know, they’re all beautiful women.
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Feminist speaker: What does feminism mean to you?
Dude: Lack of delicious sandwich?
Catholic High School classroom
Aurora, Colorado
