Dude: Just because you masturbate to llama/turtle porn…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Dude: Just because you masturbate to llama/turtle porn…
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Guy #1: What’s the big deal about the bird flu anyway? I’m not a bird.
Guy #2: It’s those people who play with bird crap and such. It’s kinda like the chicken pox, see what I mean?
Guy #1: Well, I’m fine then because I already had the chicken pox.
Reno, Nevada
Overheard by: Scott
Dude leaving party: Just remember we have one goal. We have one shared dream, people. It starts with “I” and ends with “no more motherfucking apartheid.”
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Guy on cell: I told you… the orange ones are hermaphroditic and the purple ones are sterile.
Portland, Oregon
Overheard by: piruqsiviliriji
Guy #1: You’re beautiful… you’re beautiful.
Guy #2: No… but I’m not fuckable beautiful!
University of California, San Diego
Overheard by: whoa mango
Drunk guy: It’s my birthday and I wanna hear some boobs clapping!
Davis, California
Overheard by: Liz
Guy: Well, do you have lots of unprotected sex with anonymous men?
Girl: I don’t think so.
Guy: (pause) Well, you’re probably safe then.
Southern Oregon University
Overheard by: Kayli
Man to woman: When was the last time you waxed your saddle?
Caltrain, San Francisco to Palo Alto
Overheard by: Sarks
Half-drunk tourist girl: You’re lying! Nobody has all that happen in their life!
Half-drunk guy with NY accent: I’m from Brooklyn! We all live unbelievable lives!
Parker House Bar
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: annikee
