Guys

Drunk guy to group of teens: If you're on the moon and you ain't got no shoes, man, you're outta luck.

Rye, New York

Overheard by: Grizzzly

Young man on cell: So there's someone cleaning their floor with the blood of one of their relatives, and it's like…a bit much, you know?

Bus, Denmark Hill
London
England

Overheard by: trying not to turn around

Girlfriend: So, you don't believe in vampires, right?
Boyfriend: Nope.
Girlfriend: Okay, but do you believe in ghosts?
Boyfriend: No, I told you I don't believe in that stuff.
Girlfriend: But you at least believe in witches, right?
Boyfriend: No!
Girlfriend (exasperated): Now you're just being naive!

Toronto
Canadia

Overheard by: kingdubby

By the Prince's Attorney in Cross-Examination

Single mom: And what happens to Cinderella at midnight?
Eight-year-old son: She gets destroyed!

Disneyland
Anaheim, California

Dude at bar: And they're real housewives? That's awesome!

The Highlander
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Herr Professor Doktor

Happy little boy touching everything: Bacteria! Bacteria! Bacteria!

Post Office
Hammond, Louisiana

Man: My nipples are exploding with excitement!

Back Bay Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Me too

Four-year-old boy: Mom, can we get a puppy?
Mom: You don't need a puppy, you have a little brother.
Four-year-old boy: Yay!

Carlsbad, California

Overheard by: californiabeaner

Sit-ups guy to older dude: Oh, hey there, Bob.
Older dude: You know, every time I see you I think of my dog.
Sit-ups guy: Oh? Why's that?
Older dude: I keep trying to get him to kneel. (walks away)

Z-Center, MIT
Cambridge, Massachusetts

Overheard by: MaybeHisNameIsNeal

Boy: I believe in waiting until marriage.
Girl: That’s funny, cause I believe in you fucking my brains out.

Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania