20-something chick on cell: Hello? Seriously? It smelled like your balls last time you used it! (pause) Okay, I guess, make sure you rinse out that motherfucker! You too, bye.
Friend: What was that about?
20-something chick: My boyfriend wants to use my shower, and my loofah.
Friend: Oh.
San Antonio, Texas
Scruffy dude picking up cell with fart noises as ringtone: Hi, honey.
Family Video
Brockport, New York
Overheard by: swear it was the phone
Emo guy on cell: I've got to get on the electric snake now. I'll go wherever it takes me. (pause) Tell your mom not to lose an eye, ok?
B Line
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Smallison
Man with thick accent on cell: The problem is that their religion is their life. They are diabolically opposed. (long pause) Yes. I think it is time for another crusades.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Girl on cell: I have midterms! I don't have time to go to the fat lady with the lollipop! (pause) Buh-bye.
Roosevelt University
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: morgz
British guy on cell: Ugh! I just stuck my umbrella in something that resembles feces!
MARTA
Atlanta, Georgia
Girl on cell: But I really ruined his life. I mean, what should I do? (pause) Should I, like, text him and say, “I'm sorry for ruining your life”?
Cold Stone Creamery
New Jersey
Angry British guy on phone: My name's 'arry. No! 'arry! 'arry! Dammit, no! 'arry, like 'arry Potter! Thank you.
Girl nearby: You just made my life a little better.
Arizona
Overheard by: Meg:)
Woman on cell: Take him home in a straitjacket, or take him to the psych ward in a straitjacket…either way, he's not going to be happy.
Saratoga, California
Overheard by: Coffee shoppe caffeine junky
Student on phone: Did you know doctors get fifty percent off of Domino's pizzas?
University of Sussex Campus
England
Overheard by: Zaney
