Pride

Very pregnant woman surrounded by misbehaving children: Pregnancy is just such a gift. I mean, I feel so blessed. Like, this is what my body was made for, you know? I just feel so much more complete when I'm pregnant. Knowing that I'm growing this life…
Young woman behind her in line, interrupting: Madam? You are a walking advertisement for mandatory birth control.

Starbucks
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: The guy applauding her

Girl: You know, I'm usually a very wise person. Recently, with my situation, I lost a lot of my wiseness, but this trip has brought back that wiseness.
Boy: So, your wiseness never informed you it was called “wisdom”?
Girl: I hate you.

Banora Point High School
Australia

Cute girl: I have great tits!
Gay friend, skeptically: I guess they're nice…
Cute girl: No, really. Each of my last four boyfriends or longish-term hookup buddies were ass-men when they met me, and by the time we split, they'd each been converted to boob-men.
Gay friend, still skeptical: That may just mean your ass isn't great.
Cute girl: Damn, you're so cup-half-empty. My ass is great. My tits are just phenomenal.

Manhattan, New York

Woman in line to another: Yeah, my brother’s birthday is tomorrow. He’s Aryan.

Wal-Mart
Tracy, California

Overheard by: Jeff

Hipster chick: I am who I am and that’s what I like about me, but it keeps getting me into these shitty situations.

Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Flamboyant grad student, on ice skating: I went years ago… and fell flat on my face. Then I decided that I was too important for this!

Oxford
England

Tall Hispanic woman to one-legged Hispanic man in wheelchair: Nigga, I get with you, I have triplets–got that supersperm!

Miami, Florida

Overheard by: chuck

Teen Boy Scout (after narrowly avoiding tripping): And that's why I'm so good at swing dancing. I have hips like an angel.

Amtrack
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Duckie

Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!

Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Has that ever worked?

Guy on phone: Look, now that you're an American you can't be doing that kind of stuff…

University of Central Florida

Overheard by: Michelle