Freshman #1: So… where is he from?
Freshman #2: He’s from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.
Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate
Freshman #1: So… where is he from?
Freshman #2: He’s from the part of Georgia where they ass-rape you.
Washington University
St. Louis, Missouri
Overheard by: New Yorker hopefully about to graduate
Guy on cell: And all I could say was: “Thank God… I have my surfboard with me!”
Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl: So then I was about to call him a giant asshole, but I figured he’d take it as a compliment…
Guy: I get it! It’s because he’s gay!
University of Alabama
Alabama
Pilot: Before we start our ascent, an important question: Anyone here from the North Allegheny high school class of ’68? [silence] I always ask. I’m hoping at some point I’ll find my old girlfriend.
JetBlue flight
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Ladle
MIT frat boy #1: I’m just saying, everybody has a strip poker tournament during rush week. We need something different.
MIT frat boy #2: You mean, like, strip risk or battleship?
MIT frat boy #1: Um… Sure.
Chinese Restaurant
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Brian
Preppie guy: … And I said, “That’s why I trade corn futures!” [Entire table erupts in raucous laughter.]
Ethiopian restaurant, 12th & U
Washington, DC
Overheard by: Ladle
Dude: “I am Legend”? God, learn to grammar.
High School classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Nerdy guy: Apparently it somehow involves running, but I’ve never ran before so I don’t know how.
UCLA Ackerman Terminal
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Juanito
Little boy: I don’t have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do sweetie…
Little boy: No! I don’t have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do…
Little boy: No, you’re a giant!
Grocery Store
Colorado
Overheard by: Not a Giant or a Grandma
Guy to friend: Dude, you just now figured out that The Beatles suck?
Public School
Las Vegas, Nevada
