Compare and contrast

Little boy: I don’t have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do sweetie…
Little boy: No! I don’t have a grandma!
Grandma: Yes you do…
Little boy: No, you’re a giant!

Grocery Store
Colorado

Overheard by: Not a Giant or a Grandma

TA: It’s like Anna Karenina in two hours, with shotguns and Satan.

UCSC
Santa Cruz, California

Tween girl to crowd of loitering friends: Everyone’s bisexual… except for Jenny.

Outside Starbucks
Avon, Connecticut

Teen girl wearing a warm jacket: Hey, Kim.
Kim: [Wearing pretty much nothing.] Oooh, you look warm! Can I put my hand inside you?

Los Angeles, California

Little girl: I farted!
Dad, indifferent: Stop farting.
Little girl: I farted on the dog!
Dad, still indifferent: Continue farting.

Glendale Heights, Illinois

Overheard by: rbmmom

Female professor: I may not be the best literary critic of the century, but I know when I’m in a fucking whorehouse.

Combs Hall
Fredericksburg, Virginia

Professor: Cats aren’t capable of going into your home, judging what items are valuable, and dragging those items away.

Michigan State University
Michigan

Overheard by: sjshock

[Beauty & the Beast sing-a-long.]Drunk girl: Is it just me… or is the beast-beast hotter than the human beast?

Duke University
Durham, North Carolina

Man in cow suit: I know lots of people here too. That’s why I am keeping a low profile. Well, as much as a man in a cow suit can.

Putney Walkabout
London
England

Grocery store clerk: Did you find everything you were looking for today?
Customer: Yep.
Clerk: Oh good. The last woman said she didn’t, and I had no idea what to say. So I just looked at her and kind of shrugged my shoulders. She got so mad.
Customer: Then why do you ask?
Clerk: To be polite.

HyVee
Fort Dodge, Iowa