Sorostitute: Oh my god! Your baby is so cute! How old is she?
Single mom: One.
Sorostitute: Oh my god. She is so precious! I love children, I keep the nursery in church and I used to babysit, like, all the time. Do you think I could…
Single mom: No.
Sorostitute: Hold her?
Single mom: No.
University of Alabama
Sober girl, enthusiastically, to friend who just threw up: You look cute!
Drunk friend, equally enthusiastic: I just threw up!
Sober girl, still enthusiastic: I bet you feel cute!
Subway Bathroom
Overheard by: tina
Three-year-old boy to grandfather: Do you have a penis?
Grandfather: Yes, I do.
Boy: I have a penis, too. My penis is small. My penis is cute.
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Vejewsbian
Teen guy to teen girls: Starbucks is like heaven! Everyone at Starbucks is happy and nice to each other, because they're drinking coffee, and that makes people happy!
Starbucks, Southern Cross Station
Melbourne
Australia
Overheard by: XPIOTOS
Straight guy: I really need your advice about this girl.
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: No. Her mom set us up on this date…
Gay guy: Stick it in her butt!
Straight guy: You just suggested that. I mean, I like her but I definitely don’t want to date her, and we’re supposed to hang out this weekend, but I don’t know what to do with her.
Gay guy: Well, just be like: “Hey, do you want to toss a Frisbee in the arboretum?”
Straight guy: And if she says yes, be like: “Okay, do you want to toss my salad in the arboretum?”
Gay guy: Awesome.
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: $kank
Strange transvestite: Ohmigod, you are sooo pretty.
Girl: Umm… Thanks?
Transvestite's friend: Oh, yes she is.
(they walk away)
Girl: I'm never wearing this shirt again.
Houston, Texas
Fag hag, about friend's boyfriend: Well, at least he has a nice guitar.
Fag: No one notices a guy's guitar on the first date…except maybe you.
Fag hag: Hey, at least someone fingered my g-string recently.
Jacksonville, Florida
Overheard by: Ari
Chick: Are you sure you’re a photographer? Your hands are so soft!
Dude: That’s not my photography hand.
Taber’s Restaurant
Baltimore, Maryland
Overheard by: Flying Pig
Male English teacher to female student: You know, for the last 30 minutes I've been thinking of… The holy city that is your face.
High School
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: ShouldThisBeReported?
Girl reading Dirty Japanese book to another: Oh, “fuck like rabbits”? “Yari… Ma… Kuru…” Is that how you pronounce it? Do I have the accent right?
(other girl pronounces it correctly in high pitched voice)
Girl: You make “fucking like rabbits” sound so cute and adorable!
Jersey City, New Jersey
