Offers and requests

Impossibly cheerful Australian: I'd like two scoops of coffee coffee coffee buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz, please!
Alarmed counter guy: Uh, do you need it?

Ben & Jerry's
Berkeley, California

Overheard by: Rose Fox

White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.

Computer Science Department
Ohio State University

Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret

Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill!

Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado

Guy on phone: So what are we doing after bible study? Beers? Ladies?

Arizona State University

Overheard by: Tiffany

Conductor: Mind the gap, doors closing. (train does not move) Those naughty, naughty doors.

London
England

Overheard by: ren

Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!

Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Has that ever worked?

Guy to girl: What? Your tummy hurts? Let’s make out!

Auburn, Alabama

Rednecks in pickup truck, driving past bus stop: Hey, pretty girl! Want a ride?
(pretty girl waiting for bus shakes her head, truck moves on)
Pretty girl, to male companion: So, is everyone here just really friendly, or what?
Male companion: No, they're creepy. Don't talk to them.

Highlandtown, Baltimore

Overheard by: tourist

Dramatic teenage girl: Um, we would like an Awesome Blossom, extra awesome.
Unhappy waitress: We don't serve that anymore.
Dramatic teenage girl: Yes, you do. Don't lie to me, lady.

Baton Rouge, Louisiana

Guy #1: Well, they do say life’s short, gotta make the most of it.
Guy #2: I am pretty positive life is the longest thing I am ever going to do. And I am not going into that strip club, okay?

Sydney
Australia