Guy sitting on bench: So can I borrow your crack pipe tomorrow?
Girl sitting next to him: No, it's dirty, remember? I still need to wash it out.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Travis
Guy sitting on bench: So can I borrow your crack pipe tomorrow?
Girl sitting next to him: No, it's dirty, remember? I still need to wash it out.
Tempe, Arizona
Overheard by: Travis
Little girl: Mom, can I buy that doll house?
Mom: No, you don't have enough money.
Daughter: Can't I just use my college money?
Mom: No.
Daughter: But I don't want to go to college, I want the doll house! I don't want to go to college!
Toy Store
Canadia
Angry suit on phone: Listen, I don't care what you think, if you don't think I'm doing a good job, don't fucking ask me to work for you! (pause) No! No! No! I don't care, I'm doing more important things right now! (pause) I'm buying plant food!
CVS
Connecticut
Overheard by: Guy
Teacher: What you get from Beatlerama depends on what you bring to it.
Science class
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: mollydear
Impossibly cheerful Australian: I'd like two scoops of coffee coffee coffee buzz buzz buzz buzz buzz, please!
Alarmed counter guy: Uh, do you need it?
Ben & Jerry's
Berkeley, California
Overheard by: Rose Fox
White trash woman on cell: Yeah, she OD'ed, right? I just got out of jail for murder. “Your mom died of overdose” is what she told her. You need to stop telling people all this, I could get locked up for a long time. You told Heather and everybody, she knew all about what I did. But…I don't know, she said to call her. She's at her house, I guess. Look, you don't do shitty things to people that are there for you, you do shitty things to people that are not there for you.
Computer Science Department
Ohio State University
Overheard by: Now Heather and I are both in on the secret
Goth girl, to friend looking at military jackets: You can get those a lot cheaper at goodwill, dude.
Overweight friend: Not in my size! When fat people die, they leak, and then their clothes can’t be given to goodwill!
Starfest Sci-Fi Convention
Denver, Colorado
Guy on phone: So what are we doing after bible study? Beers? Ladies?
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Tiffany
Conductor: Mind the gap, doors closing. (train does not move) Those naughty, naughty doors.
London
England
Overheard by: ren
Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!
Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Has that ever worked?
