Questions

Professor: See, humans have what Aristotle calls “rational souls,” meaning we use intellect. Humans ask questions that other living things can't, like “what is god? What is the divine problem? Where are my Nunchuks? Where did I leave them?”

Philosophy Class, UC
Santa Barbara, California

Guy #1: We had to read Catcher in the Rye and Uncle Tom's Cabin last year! It was ridiculous!
Guy #2: Aren't they the same story?

Fauquier High
Warrenton, Virginia

Overheard by:

Hobo: Do you know what the world needs more of?
Coffee employee: Love?
Hobo: Nope, toothpicks… but love was a good guess.

Sacramento, California

Girl, returning from holidays in America: So yeah, I got put in actual jail.
Friend: For drinking on the beach?
Girl: Yup, got the orange jumpsuit and all.
Friend: Did you get to keep it?
Girl: I didn't like to ask, to be honest. Would've been a savage souvenir, though.

UCC Campus
Ireland

20-something to friend: I can't believe you asked if he was the handjob guy!

Norman, Oklahoma

Disgruntled freshman girl #1: Ugh, I hate that guy. He is like, you know, so… Ugh!
Disgruntled freshman girl #2: I know, right?
Rude sophomore guy, interrupting: Oh, me and him? We're like porn buddies!
(awkward silence from girls)
Rude sophomore guy: What? That was like, before.

Cainta
Rizal
Philippines

Overheard by: happened to be eating lunch

Guy watching Macy’s commercial: Ugh! This American obsession with consumerism is just disgusting! Not to mention flawed.
Sarcastic girl: What the hell do you think you are, Mr. Abercrombie jeans? Jamaican?

Western Washington University
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: He was obviously a freshman

Teen goth girl: Yeah, I was going to go. But, seriously, what's the point of Bar Mitzvahs without trannies?

Bridgeland
Calgary
Canadia

Scottish hipster: So, we find him tied to this pole near the railway tracks, stripped and covered with tar.
English hipster: Tar? So, is that easy to get around here?

The Lot
Edinburgh
Scotland

20-something client: How do you spell “Matthew?”
Confused staff: Matthew? As in a person's name? Like “Matthew Perry” Matthew?
20-something: Yeah, it's my middle name and I want to put it on my resume. Does it have two t's or one?

Unemployment Centre
Ontario
Canadia