I Appreciate Your Candor

Teenage thug to passing woman: Hey yo baby! I ain’t gonna lie, I got a big dick!

Hollywood and Highland
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Has that ever worked?

Posted on March 3, 2017
Bragging, California, Compliments, Etiquette, Offers and requests, Penis, Pride, Sexuality, Teens, Thugs, Words

…Unlike Your Tasseled Loafers.

Hobo: You ever model?
Cute Asian guy: Uh, no.
Hobo: You should think about it. You have nice cheekbones. But definitely go with an agency.
Cute Asian guy: Okay. (awkward pause)
Hobo: By the way, this is man-to-man. This isn't no gay shit!

Chicago, Illinois

Posted on February 20, 2017
Asians, Body parts, Compliments, Guys, Hobos, Illinois, Jobs & Careers, Sexuality

With a Cool Aussie Accent, You Can Marry Anybody in the U.S.

Schoolboy #1: I hear there's this law in America where if you're a guy you can marry your brother.
Schoolboy #2: That's wrong.
Schoolboy #1: Even if you're a dude!

Adelaide
Australia

Posted on February 8, 2017
Australia, Default, Family ties, Geography, Gossip, Guys, Sexuality, Students

That’s the Last Time I’ll Babysit Those Brats

Mellow teen: I got slapped in the tit with a dildo last night.

New Paltz, New York

Posted on January 8, 2017
Default, Girls, New York, Nipples, Sexuality, Teens, Toys, Violence

Dear Martha Stewart…

Frustrated waitress: There’s not enough Scotchguard in the world to help those sex cushions!

Rudyard’s
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Hales

Posted on December 31, 2016
Bars & Clubs, Cleanliness, Gripes, Health & Hygiene, Servers, Sexuality, Texas, Women

If Platitudes Won’t Sway Me, Nothing Will

Guy #1: Well, they do say life’s short, gotta make the most of it.
Guy #2: I am pretty positive life is the longest thing I am ever going to do. And I am not going into that strip club, okay?

Sydney
Australia

Posted on December 14, 2016
Australia, Compare and contrast, Guys, Leisure, Offers and requests, Sexuality, Wishes

And Demand Unlimited Loaves and Fishes in Recompense

Random smoker at party: If Jesus cockblocks me one more time, I am going to find where he lives!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on August 5, 2016
Default, Jesus, Sexuality, Smokers, Threats, Washington

We're Just Two Very Misguided People Colliding in Space

Redhead to 30-something man: You like Jason Mraz. I like Jason Mraz. Therefore, we're not having an affair.

Line for Jason Mraz Concert
Hammersmith Apollo, London
England

Overheard by: Tom

Posted on July 3, 2016
Compare and contrast, Default, England, Music, Relationships, Sexuality, Women

…As Is Jewish Custom.

20-something girl on cell: She washed all the fruit before putting it into the bowl. (pause) We're gonna need a medium-sized male stripper to go along with it, also.

NJ Transit
New Jersey

Posted on June 27, 2016
Fruit, New Jersey, On the phone, Sexuality

I'm at the Far End Of the Gay Continuum

Obviously gay guy: I mean, I'm not surprised at all that people think I'm gay. I've got this high voice, I'm bitchy, and I like to wear dresses.
Friend: (nods in approval)

Dining Hall
UNC Chapel Hill

Posted on June 13, 2016
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Friends, Queers, Sexuality

Sexuality