Comebacks

Guy: Well, how could you tell I was drunk?
Girl: Because you were actually funny.
Guy: Well, you were actually attractive.

Long Island, New York

Overheard by: Super Mike

Boy: I believe in waiting until marriage.
Girl: That’s funny, cause I believe in you fucking my brains out.

Bryn Mawr College
Pennsylvania

Middle-aged black man #1: She has a pretty face.
Middle-aged black man #2: I can’t fuck a face!

Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Tad Allagash

Very obnoxious drunk man to long-suffering waitress: Hey, what’s your name, anyway?
Waitress (coldly): Melissa.
Drunk man (softly): Awww, my daughter’s name is Melissa.
Waitress: Well, I’m sorry to be the one to tell you this, but we usually turn out slutty.

Bar
Los Angeles, California

Girl #1: Well, it doesn't bother me.
Girl #2: That's because you don't have to look at it!
Girl #3: You. Look. Like. A. Whore.
Girl #4: But a mermaid whore!

University of Florida

Old woman in wheelchair being driven around busy food court: I hate this place! All I can see are people's butts.
Old man behind her: So why are you having me cart you around the city in a wheelchair for?!

Mall
Sydney
Australia

Overheard by: I saw her later stand up…

Man with sons and wife: We made good time. Only took an hour.
Wife, getting angry: Would you stop letting people know how ignorant you really are?
Man: So what? We did the Louvre in 45 minutes.

Reina Sofia Museum
Madrid
Spain

Overheard by: amy abes

Mother: That dress is cheap — cheap like the cigarette cartoons in my mother’s freezer.
Daughter: It’s prom. You’re supposed to look cheap.

Salt Lake City, Utah

Dude: Eggs are just chicken menstruation.
Tired guy: Best menstruation I’ve ever had!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2007/04/19/best-oh-and-only-forgot-the-only/

Overheard by: douglas

Four-year-old boy, dancing happily down sidewalk: I'm like a princess! I'm like Cinderella!
Mother: Except you stink. So more like stinkerella.

Calgary
Canadia