American tourist: Where's north here?
Local Swedish friend: (points north)
American tourist: It seems north changes everywhere I go, in Hungary it was that way (points), in Aspen it was that way (points) and now in Sweden it's that way (points).
(Swede stares in disbelief)
Stockholm
Sweden
Girl: My mom is never going to let me go on a field trip again.
Boy #1: Why?
Girl: I left my jacket at the museum.
Boy #2: Wanna know what I left at the museum? My dignity. My dignity and my pride.
BART
San Francisco, California
Guy to brunette: Yo, tell your friend she's beautiful.
Brunette, about hot redhead: Oh, don't worry, she knows.
Grasshopper On The Green
New Jersey
Tourist #1: Do you think we should eat Mexican or Italian?
Tourist #2: Mexican is indigenous to the culture of Puerto Rico. Let's eat that…
San Juan
Puerto Rico
Chemistry teacher: We've been experimenting with butane for the last three periods and I'm a little high right now.
Hume-Fogg High School
Nashville, Tennessee
Stewardess at gate: If everyone can have their boarding passes out and ready for me then I can make this go a lot quicker…and if you don't ask me any stupid questions that would help too, thank you! (smiles and starts scanning passes)
Flight from Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania
Dude: Unless you can show me one big titted cat!
Marist College
Poughkeepsie, New York
Overheard by: Russ
Hyperactive four-year-old: I want ice cream! I want ice cream!
Frumpy mother: Go away, my hair is going to fall all over you.
Hyperactive four-year-old: I don't care! I want ice cream! I'm taking your purse!
Frumpy mother: Ryan, if you touch my purse, I'm spanking you! Now go away, you're annoying me!
Hyperactive four-year-old: No, I'm not, are you kidding me?
Frumpy mother (mumbling): You little rodent.
Hyperactive four-year-old: I am not!
Hair Salon
Cumming, Georgira
Overheard by: Caylin
Hottie: But who do you cheat off of?
Friend: I read the book.
Geoge Brown College
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Tdot Girl
