Fat black woman to son running away: Don't make me go African American on your ass, now get back here!
Shafer Dining
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Lacy
Fat black woman to son running away: Don't make me go African American on your ass, now get back here!
Shafer Dining
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Lacy
Blond cocktail waitress, looking at a t-shirt of George Bush and his dad with Dumb and Dumber under photos: Who is that?
Chef: Excuse me! Are you serious?
Blond cocktail waitress (a few seconds later, with dumbfounded look): Ooooooh! Is that our President? Then who is that? (pointing to the photo of Bush Sr)
Chef (grabbing head in agony): Owww!
Lulu's Restaurant
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Ben
(in a philosophy class, the subject of “lovemaking vs. fucking” is being discussed)
Angry feminist student: Guys have it so easy! You can go out and fuck any girl you want and no one thinks any worse of you, but if a girl sleeps around she's a slut! Hell, if you somehow don't manage to nail the girl, you can just go home and masturbate. Girl's can't do that!
Female student who hadn't spoken a word all class: Pff, yes we can!
Penn State
Altoona, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: A guy in the same class
Drunk girl, walking over and planting big kiss on guy's forehead: I kissed you like I kiss my cat!
Guy: I don't like cats.
Emporia, Kansas
Overheard by: Very Disturbed
Volunteer #1: We can't be selling this music, it's devil worship.
Volunteer #2: Well, that's the ACLU. The ACLU ought to be abolished. They're why there's all this stuff around.
Customer: Why are you getting rid of that? Don't you think people ought to be able to choose for themselves?
Volunteer #2: Harry Potter is a witch!
Customer: I think we ought to get rid of Bush and Cheney, put them in jail–they're mass murderers!
Volunteers #1 & #2: (silence)
Joshua Tree Thrift Shop
California
Overheard by: Celeste Mann
Professor: Do I want to be intimate? That's the important thing.
Arizona State University
Overheard by: Mallory
Mum: Do you want some McDonald's for lunch?
Seven-year-old girl: Ew, no, I'd rather die, I'll just have a latte, I think I'm getting a migraine.
Wahroonga Station
Sydney
Australia
Girl: I'm not gonna bend over and let you play my butt in front of other people!
Epcot
Florida
Overheard by: Pilbur
Teenage boy to father: I've been talking to a Thai lady on the internet and, I'll bring her to New Zealand for only $50,000!
Father: Is she genuine?
Teenage boy: Genuine Thai lady-boy!
Auckland
New Zealand
Overheard by: Tessa
Guy to girl: So you heard about Dave, right? His girlfriend broke up with him last night. He got completely wasted and tried to kill himself by drinking a bottle of shampoo.
Girl: Oh my god! Is he okay?
Guy: Yeah, turns out you cant kill yourself by drinking shampoo. We're calling him “bubbles” now. He'll never live this down.
Lockport, New York
Overheard by: evan
