Sheepish-looking PhD student coming out of washroom: Oh yes! I wasn't taking a shower with a glass of chardonnay! By “wasn't” I mean “was”, by “taking a shower” I mean “taking a dump”, and by “glass” I mean “bottle”. (long pause, looking down the hall) I was taking a dump with a bottle of chardonnay!
University of Northern Norway
Norway
Old lady to son: People are like teabags. You know?
Wyoming
College dude: I'd totally fuck her bottom half… and I'd just chomp off her top half.
San Jose, California
Overheard by: Skye
20-something woman to another: I need to show you to my dog sometime.
Iithaca, New York
Drummer: Well, that wasn't my first time being on fire but it was my favorite time being on fire.
Los Angeles, California
Guy on bike to random guy: Hey, do you know where Saint pedophilia is?
Random guy: Where?
Guy on bike: Saint pedophilia. It's a Catholic church by Saint Thomas where the priests molest little boys and turn them into homosexuals. (bikes away)
Random guy, stunned: What the fuck was that?
http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/367412833/nobody-was-around-this-morning-to-help-him-take-his-meds.html
Overheard by: well, that was odd
Government teacher: The finance committee is sexy. Who wants to be part of the education committee, anyway? They're lame.
High School
Los Angeles, California
Friend #1: I just want a Dance Dance Revolution mat that won't skid around on the floor while I dance on it. I am thinking about covering my old one in an unskiddable material.
Friend #2: Well, you could try human skin.
Friend #1: Does it skid?
Friend #2: Only when wet.
Gamestop
Omaha, Nebraska.
Angry guy, loudly: My sister is not a fetish model!
Greenport Harbor Brewery
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: Ladle
