Dumb girl: So what’s the difference between when the guy hits the ball and someone catches it and when someone hits the ball and no one catches it?
Boy: Absolutely nothing.
PETCO Park
San Diego, California
Dumb girl: So what’s the difference between when the guy hits the ball and someone catches it and when someone hits the ball and no one catches it?
Boy: Absolutely nothing.
PETCO Park
San Diego, California
20-something guy with ridiculous hair cut: Like, I’m not saying that mother earth isn’t my priority, because like she totally is, I’m just saying that I’m not going to like let her run my life. At the end of the day.
8th & Chestnut
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Teacher: I’m leaving for a few minutes. Ted*, you’re in charge.
Ted*: Alright, everyone get naked.
High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado
Woman: …and Scarlett Johansson is in it.
Husband: Really? Okay, let’s go.
Woman (to ticket seller): Oh, now he’ll watch it.
(they enter the theater)
Husband: And you said sex too, right?
Movie Theater
Hartford, Connecticut
Overheard by: Claire
Guy walking opposite traffic on a one-way street: If I get hit by another car my mom will be pissed.
Clemson, South Carolina
Guy: That motherfucking cop has driven past here twice in the last fifteen minutes.
Cop (on car’s loudspeaker): I’m not a motherfucker.
University of Georgia
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Anne
Guy: I’m pretty positive that on judgment day, god is going to have a live action replay of this conversation and be like: “See… And you were so close!”
University of Kentucky
Lexington, Kentucky
Guy, mournfully: And then I go in and Colin is sitting there, taking shots of vodka by himself, in that pink dress…
Girl, nonplussed: Again?
Newark, Delaware
Overheard by: archie
Hipster college dude: You mean you had anal?
Hipster college chick: Well, more like mental anal.
Hipster college dude: Mental anal. Hmmm, let me think on that a spell.
UNM Campus
Albuquerque, New Mexico
Overheard by: klutch
Boyfriend: I only cheated on you with one girl but you cheated on me with three guys… at the same time!
Ohio State University
Overheard by: JooSki
