Unless There’s Something I Don’t Know About DVD Players

Guy on cell: Just because you own one doesn’t make you Mormon!

Barnes & Noble
Southlake, Texas

Overheard by: Autumn

Posted on April 5, 2026
Christianity, Compare and contrast, Guys, On the phone, Stores, Texas

I’d Heard the Expression “Nose Candy” and Gotten Confused

Female student, looking at Valentine candy display: Oh, I love those little cinnamon hearts.
Male student: Oh, me too. When I was a kid I used to snort them up my nose.

Guelph
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on March 31, 2026
Body parts, Canadia, Candy, Default, Girls, Guys, Kids, Sensory experiences, Students, Weirdness

At Least You Have Your Priorities Straight

Ten-year-old boy: You know what I would have if I could have four wishes?
Big sister: I don’t know. What?
Ten-year-old boy: One: no drought in Georgia; Two: no global warming; Three: world peace; Four: a Komodo dragon that is really nice and fun to play with, is a vegetarian, lives forever and can grant eternal life.

Druid Hills, Atlanta

Overheard by: Miranda

Posted on March 30, 2026
Animals, Compliments, Food, Geography, Georgia, Girls, Guys, Kids, Magic, Questions, Siblings, Threats, Tweens, US Geography, Weather, Wishes

If Chris Rock Had a Nickel for Every Time He’s Heard That…

Teen boy to other teen boy: You’d be racist if you weren’t so funny.

Leeds, England

Overheard by: Ashleigh

Posted on March 29, 2026
Compare and contrast, Compliments, Default, Guys, Race, Teens, UK

That Was an Olsen Twin

Teenage girl: Ohmigod, guess what!
Boyfriend: What?
Teenage girl: I just ran over a possum and it humped my car!

Chattanooga, Tennessee

Posted on March 29, 2026
Animals, Couples, Death & dying, Default, Girls, Guys, Teens, Tennessee, Words

For the Last Time, That’s Not What Lilliputians Are

Girl: So yeah, it would just be like Gulliver’s Travels.
[Pause.]Boy: There’d be kitten penises everywhere!

Warwick, England

Posted on March 27, 2026
Books, Compare and contrast, Girls, Guys, Penis, UK, Weirdness

But We Call Them “American Voters”

American chick #1: Ohmigod! Look at those white cows! I’ve never seen cows like that before!
American chick #2: Maybe they’re albino… Or it could be a special British type of cow.
Guy sitting behind them: … Those are sheep.

Bus, Southern England

Overheard by: pretends to be Canadian

Posted on March 26, 2026
Animals, Bus, Comebacks, Compare and contrast, Friends, Geography, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Stupidity, Tourists, UK

Something Just Expanded –Possibly My Awareness

Barista guy, gesturing toward mug of Sharpies: Are you aware that these markers cost ninety-nine cents each?
Barista chick: Are you aware that I want to get my nipples pierced?

Starbuck’s, Castro Street
Mountain View, California

Overheard by: touché

Posted on March 25, 2026
Baristas, Bringing it back to you, California, Girls, Guys, Money, Nipples, Questions, Restaurants, Wishes

So Thanks for Letting Me Into Yale

Hipster guy: Yeah, it probably didn’t help that I gave you poison ivy and then threw up on you.

Bar
Columbia, Missouri

Posted on March 24, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Default, Etiquette, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Hipsters, Maladies, Missouri, Relationships, Weirdness

No Good Ever Comes of Communication

Wife: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Husband: Yep.
Wife: That’s it? Just “yep”?
Husband: Looks very different. It’ll be like having sex with another woman.
Wife: Asshole! Should have kept my mouth shut.
Husband: Yep.

Circle Centre Mall
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on March 23, 2026
Beauty, Compare and contrast, Couples, Guys, Hair, Indiana, Insults, Malls, Questions, Relationships, Sex, Women, Words

Guys