The Devil Granted His Wish, But They Were Male Boobs

Drunk guy: It’s my birthday and I wanna hear some boobs clapping!

Davis, California

Overheard by: Liz

Posted on June 19, 2026
California, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Guys, Rack, Wishes

I Told You to Start Keeping Condoms in There

Cashier (handing over receipt): Would you like this?
Customer: No, they make babies in my purse…

David’s Supermarket
Whitney, Texas

Posted on June 18, 2026
Customers, Default, Employees, Pregnancy, Questions, Shopping, Texas, Weirdness

I’m Sure Your Vagina Is Purple for a Pefectly Innocuous Reason

Guy: Well, do you have lots of unprotected sex with anonymous men?
Girl: I don’t think so.
Guy: (pause) Well, you’re probably safe then.

Southern Oregon University

Overheard by: Kayli

Posted on June 18, 2026
Colleges & Universities, Default, Girls, Guys, Health & Hygiene, Oregon, Questions, Sex, STDs

If You Make a Pop Culture Reference, They Accuse You Of Being a Jew

Gucci girl to friends: God! I’m so tired of my Nazi book group! (silence) I mean, they don’t want cookies, they don’t want to socialize, it’s just like, book book book you may not mention anything besides the book!

Glencoe, Illinois

Overheard by: I was worried for a minute

Posted on June 17, 2026
Bimbettes, Default, Food, Girls, Gripes, History, Stupidity

Karma Chameleon’s a Bitch

Girl #1: I bet she has scabies.
Girl #2: Yeah, probably.
Girl #1: Actually, I’m not sure I know what scabies is.
Girl #2: Well, if you can get it from a lizard she probably has it.

Illinois

Overheard by: Claire

Posted on June 17, 2026
Default, Friends, Girls, Illinois, Insults, STDs, Words

Billy Mays Has No Personal Life

Man to woman: When was the last time you waxed your saddle?

Caltrain, San Francisco to Palo Alto

Overheard by: Sarks

Posted on June 16, 2026
Default, Euphemisms, Guys, Questions, San Francisco, Vagina, Words

It’s Oprah, Honey

Harried mom: Get off the stage now! It’s time to go!
Obstinate toddler: No!
Harried mom: Who’s the boss of you?
Obstinate toddler: …you.
Harried mom: And who’s the boss of me?
Obstinate toddler: Daddy!
Harried mom: No!

Barnes & Noble
Plantation, Florida

Overheard by: That Bookseller Chick

Posted on June 16, 2026
Default, Family ties, Florida, Kids, Moms, Parenting, Questions, Should have used a condom, Stores

Brooklyn Itself Is Almost Imaginary

Half-drunk tourist girl: You’re lying! Nobody has all that happen in their life!
Half-drunk guy with NY accent: I’m from Brooklyn! We all live unbelievable lives!

Parker House Bar
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: annikee

Posted on June 15, 2026
Default, Drinking & drunks, Girls, Guys, Lies, Massachusetts, Tourists, US Geography

Does That Include the Sombrero?

Tall chick: I wish I could find a nice, tall guy.
Friend #1: My brother is 6’5″.
Tall chick: Is he cute?
Friend: Well…
Friend #2: He looks like a Mexican pedophile.
Tall chick: 6’5″, eh? I’ll think about it.

High School Classroom
Englewood, Colorado

Posted on June 15, 2026
Beauty, Chicks, Colorado, Default, Family ties, Friends, Relationships, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Wishes

I Come Here for the Food

Dumb girl: So what’s the difference between when the guy hits the ball and someone catches it and when someone hits the ball and no one catches it?
Boy: Absolutely nothing.

PETCO Park
San Diego, California

Posted on June 14, 2026
California, Default, Girls, Guys, Idiots, Stupidity, Tourist attractions

Default

Billy Mays Has No Personal Life