Does Your Violin Bow Double As a Crowbar?

Asian boy trying to open locked door: Man, how am I supposed to open this with my super Asian powers?!

Townview Magnet Center
Dallas, Texas

Posted on January 7, 2026
Asians, Bragging, Default, Guys, Pop culture, Pride, Questions, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Teens, Texas, Wishes

I’m Turning Inside Out for Halloween

Girl: I think my ribs are double-jointed.

Columbia, Missouri

Overheard by: Kelsey

Posted on January 7, 2026
Body parts, Default, Fears, Girls, Health & Hygiene, Missouri, Science, Weirdness

And Shoes. Don’t Forget Shoes

High school chick #1: Omygod, I totally love him.
High school chick #2: Omygod, me too.
High school chick #1: I mean, he is like easily the hottest guy at our school.
High school chick #2: Oh totally. Like he is soooo cute.
[pause].
High school chick #2: What does he look like again?
High school chick #1: Um, like, I think he wears jeans a lot.

Lambton Quay
Wellington
New Zealand

Posted on January 7, 2026
Beauty, Chicks, Clothes, Default, Feelings, New Zealand, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Students, Teens

And You Can Only Show the Video to a Limited Audience

Girl #1: At least he didn’t say what JD said to me the other night. He said I was boring in the bedroom because I didn’t try new things.
Girl #2: Oh my god!
Girl #1: Yeah and I told him, well how am I supposed to know what to do? I was a virgin before you. Well, not literally a virgin, but close enough!
Girl #2: So what are you going to do?
Girl #1: Well, I told him that when we go on vacation, we can have a threesome. But it has to be someone I’ll never see again.

New Brunswick, New Jersey

Overheard by: Slutgers Girl

Posted on January 6, 2026
Bimbettes, Default, Friends, Girls, Gripes, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Relationships, Sex, Sexuality

Can You Even Use “Oxygen” As a Verb Like That?

Male flight attendant: … And if you brought more than two children with you today, decide which your favorite is and oxygen that one first.

Southwest Airlines Flight #135

Posted on January 5, 2026
Advice, Airports & flights, Compare and contrast, Default, Etiquette, Family ties, Flight attendants, Guys, Jerks, Offspring, Threats, Weirdness

But He’s Our President, So We Have to Listen

Guy in restaurant to female companion: Of course, this is coming from a guy who eats potpourri…

Central Avenue
Cincinnati, Ohio

Posted on January 5, 2026
Bragging, Couples, Default, Food, Guys, Ohio, Women, Words

We’re Getting Closer to an Answer All the Time

Guy #1: How much have you had to drink?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: But how many?
Guy #2: Just beers.
Guy #1: Yeah, how many beers have you had?
Guy #2: Yeah.
Guy #1: How many have you had though?
Guy #2: I’m only drinking beers tonight.

Pinehaven
New Zealand

Overheard by: Schmitty

Posted on January 4, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drinking & drunks, Drunks, Guys, Idiots, New Zealand, Questions, Stupidity, Words

And Won First Prize at the Science Fair

Serious drunk guy: I made babies with a woman!

BrewFest
Jenkintown, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Drunk Girl

Posted on January 4, 2026
Bars & Clubs, Default, Drunks, Guys, Offspring, Pennsylvania, Relationships, Sexuality, Weirdness

Well, You’re Not Gonna Turn Kids Off Sex with the Truth!

Health teacher: Man, you girls these days! Wanting to have all the wrong kinds of fun… You know what, if a vagina was used by 15 different people, that vagina would probably be as wide as this door!

McNair Academic High School
Jersey City, New Jersey

Posted on January 3, 2026
Advice, Default, Education, Etiquette, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, School [Elem., Middle, & High], Sexuality, Teachers, Vagina

How Everybody Reacts to Ann Coulter’s Baby Pictures

Liberal student, passing photo of cute baby: Aw… [realizing it’s an ad for campus pro-life group] … Ugh.

Princeton University
New Jersey

Posted on January 3, 2026
Colleges & Universities, Default, Feelings, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Politics, Pregnancy, Students

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