Practically the Only Thing in Ottawa You Haven't Done

Slutty teen in very short skirt (yelling): Yo,what time is it?
Drunk passerby : (shows watch on wrist)
Slutty teen (indignantly): Like, I don't do analogue, bitch!

Ottawa
Canadia

Posted on May 13, 2018
Canadia, Default, Drunks, Insults, Questions, Strangers, Technology, Teens, Time Management

I Wondered About the Beanie

Brunette: Are you getting him something for Christmas?
Blonde: Why would I?
Brunette: I don't know, I thought you were close!
Blonde: Christmas present? He's Jewish!
Brunette: Ohhhh.

Kent State University
Kent, Ohio

Posted on May 11, 2018
Bimbettes, Colleges & Universities, Gifts, Ohio, Questions, Relationships, Religion

The Future's So Bright, I Gotta Wear Shades

20-something guy that obviously just woke up: So, do you think we'll have enough money to apply for college later today?
20-something girlfriend, also still bed-headed and yawning: Are you kidding me? It's 5 am and we're stoned. We'll talk about this later.

Bus
Dallas, Texas

Posted on May 6, 2018
Bus, Couples, Default, Drugs, Girls, Guys, Money, Questions, Texas

But at Least She Felt Comfortable Coming Out to Us

Elderly woman #1: And all her chinaware was Royal Worcester!
Elderly woman #2, looking shocked: No! Really? You wouldn't tell by looking at her, would you?
Elderly woman #1, shaking head: No, you would not.

Rural Staffordshire
England

Posted on May 4, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, England, Gossip, Names, Old folks, Questions, Women

Piss Christ Comes to Dallas

Man #1: Hey, are those bathrooms?
Man #2: No…that's art.

Discovery Green Park
Houston, Texas

Posted on May 4, 2018
Compare and contrast, Guys, Pee, Poop, Questions, Texas

Can’t Talk. Biting Shoulder.

Spastic girl: Why does everyone keep biting my left shoulder?!

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: Deb

Posted on April 30, 2018
Chicks, Questions, Washington

Like “It's My Potty (And I'll Be Dry If I Want To)”

Teacher: Do you have to go potty?
Two-year-old girl: I don't go potty anymore; I listen to music.

http://feeds.feedburner.com/~r/overheardinminneapolis/~3/420122010/i-listen-to-music-to-make-potty-time-easier.html

Overheard by: wayzata

Posted on April 27, 2018
Compare and contrast, Default, Girls, Kids, Music, Overheard in Minneapolis, Poop, Questions, Teachers

It's 2:58 — Give Him a Little Credit.

Girl on cell in empty hall: So how long do you want to have sex with your boyfriend? Until, like 3:00?

Temple University
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Posted on April 24, 2018
Colleges & Universities, Girls, Infidelity, On the phone, Pennsylvania, Questions, Sex, Time Management

…In a Non-Sexual Way?

Behavioral therapist, in very serious voice, to child with autism about animal crackers: Jason, put the elephant in your mouth!
Child's mother, laughing: How often do you honestly get to say that?

St. John's
Newfoundland
Canadia

Overheard by: aba therapist

Posted on April 23, 2018
Animals, Canadia, Disabled, Food, Kids, Medical personnel, Mental illnesses, Moms, Questions

…Shaped Like a Giant Martini Glass!

Six-year-old #1: Did you know that we’ve kissed before and we’re not even family?
Six-year-old #2: Yeah, in a hot tub!

Casselman
Ontario
Canadia

Posted on April 16, 2018
Canadia, Default, K-I-S-S-I-N-G, Kids, Memory lane, Questions

Questions

Piss Christ Comes to Dallas