Wishes

Stop Being White in Popeye’s!

Black girl #1: Okay, I know what I’m getting. Do you know what you’re getting?
White girl: I’ve never been here before. Let me look for a while. [Pauses, then yells.] Wait a minute! Popeye’s a sailor; Why does he sell chicken?
Black girl #2: Oh my god, shut up now or no more vodka for you for the rest of the night!
White girl: Okay. [Giggles.] I’m sorry.
[Black girls start talking to each other.]White girl, yelling: Why are there no white people in here?!
Black girl #1: Aww fuck, take her outside to the car. This is her first and last time ever coming here!

Popeye’s
Trenton, New Jersey

And Now He's All Wanting to Give Me Backrubs and Watch Hope Floats

Upper year girl, about much younger student: I couldn't get him into bed any other way. I had to date him!

http://www.overheardatmcgill.com/archives/2008/10/17/desperate-times/

Overheard by: Paul

Oh, Niles Crane, We’ve Missed You So

Middle aged yuppie on cell: You know what we need? An emergency wine kit.

Outside the Coliseum
Oakland, California

Overheard by: Danial

…Without Being Swarmed by Seminarians

Australian tourist: God, it's so hot in here. I can't wait to get out of here and take these pants off.
Church security guard, overhearing: Yes… that is very difficult to do in a church.

Vatican City

Overheard by: LeBron

Now Explain Why You're Defecating on That Statue

Boyfriend on train: I always wanted to be a pigeon.
Incredulous girlfriend: What?
Boyfriend: Oh shit, I just thought that out loud.

Melbourne
Australia

Also, I'm Having Company Tonight, So You'll Have to Find Another Place to Sleep

Young boy to father: Dad, I really wanted that chocolate cereal, did you buy some for me?
Father: No.
Young boy: Why not?
Father: Listen, I'd also prefer it if you stayed at your mom's all the time. But do we always get what we want? No.

Subway
Vienna
Austria

We Fear for Our Submitter's Health

Very drunk 20-something guy: Honestly, I get a pulse in my dick when I talk to you. I'm going to fuck you tonight.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman: Oh yeah?
Very drunk 20-something guy: I'm so hard right now… Have a feel.
Rough-looking chain smoking 50-something woman, grabbing hold of his crotch: You're totally flaccid.
(very drunk 20-something bursts into hysterical laughter)

Nightclub
Leamington Spa
England

Overheard by: Bleep

Why Stupid People Will Always Outnumber Smart People: Explained

Teen girl #1: You know, I wish we had some sort of pregnancy switch that we can turn on and off at will. That way, when we have one night stands, we can just turn 'em off, and, voila! No baby!
Teen girl #2: We do. They're called diagrams.
Teen girl #3: You mean “diaphragms.”
Teen girl #2: Whatever.

Starbucks
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Leila

If Charles Dickens Had Gone to College in Florida

Girl: It was a land of chocolate and a land of Lego. It was glorious.
Random guy, walking by: Glorious!

University of Central Florida

You Told Me That Was Medicine!

Kid: I wish I was as fat as you, mummy.
Mother: Mummy should not have had that ice cream.

GAP Fitting Room
Tunbridge Wells
England

Overheard by: Jim Giraffe

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