Young woman, after graphic conversation about sex and drugs: Do you ever think, while we’re talking: “Wow, the people on the train are so lucky to get to listen to us on their morning commute!”?
Older woman: Oh my god, all the time.
Train
Sydney
Australia
Overheard by: catherine
Pilot over loudspeaker: It’s 40 degrees outside and sunny, and we will be landing shortly. Welcome to… Where are we? Oh. Philadelphia! Welcome to Philadelphia!
Flight over Pennsylvania
Overheard by: And he’s flying this plane?
Emo guy to friends: He loves me. He wants my children. He says to me: “Andrew, let me have sex with you so I can have your children.” I would do it if I didn’t have hairy nipples.
Library
Plano, Texas
Little kid: I have a powerful thing coming to me. Ya know what it is? Pizza!
University of Virginia
Charlottesville, Virginia
Guy: You know, I’m usually anti-slavery… Except when I drink, then I’m all for it.
Bar
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Young thug #1: Your momma is a rat.
Young thug #2: At least she isn’t a hood rat like your momma.
Young thug #1: Well at least everyone who is with my momma has a good time. I should know, I hear it.
Galleria
White Plains, New York
Overheard by: annoying blonde girl
Bimbette: What’s wrong with gay people? Gay people are funny.
Religion Class
El Paso, Texas
Grungy dude, pointing to expensive vacuum: You should get this one. It sucks up everything!
Girlfriend: Yeah, but I don’t have much carpet. I need, like, a Broom Vac or something.
Grungy dude: A Broom Vac?! Put down the crack pipe!
Target
Baltimore, Maryland
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl to couple: Our bras are 15% off today.
Male: I prefer it when your bras are 100% off.
Victoria’s Secret salesgirl: [With a blank look on her face.] That wouldn’t make sense. Then they would be free.
Depford Mall
Depford, New Jersey
Overheard by: Philly Joe
Guy to friends: No, I mean he’s really in love with her, like reeeeally in love. He left his trailer, and moved in with his parents.
Buffalo Wild Wings
Winchester, Virginia
