Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those “zombies”.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Lit professor: Now, when we plant humans and they grow, we call those “zombies”.
University of Mary Washington
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Screaming seven-year-old on the ground: But I want to sing! I want to sing now!
Patient but angry mom: Well, you should have thought about that before. It’s too late. Now get your kazoo and get in the car.
Easley High
Easley, South Carolina
Preppy girl on cell: the longest amount of time I’ve had pubic hair is three days.
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: kt
Girl #1: Hanging out with him on his birthday was so much fun!
Girl #2: Oh, I heard about that! He went to jail, right?
Brooklyn Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Glad they’re not my friends
Student: Maybe he’s gay for the snake.
Teacher: Did you just say “gay for the snake”?!
Pleasantville High School
Pleasantville, New York
Blonde clone: It’s not that we’re both Leos. He’s just a dick.
Westfield Mall
San Diego, California
Bitter guy: Girls don’t care about men, so I can’t relate to them. And men only care about sports, food, video games, and women. I do like to eat, but I hate women. I don’t like sports at all, and I’m soooo good at video games that other people can’t play with me because I am just too awesome.
Girl sitting at the table with him: Yeah…
University of Massachusetts
Amherst, Massachusetts
Dude: Hey I’m Eddie*.
Chick: Yeah, I know. I’m Lauren*. We’ve met before.
Dude: Oh. Yeah. Well I just thought we should know each other’s name since we’re talking about anal.
The Beta Bar
Tallahassee, Florida
Overheard by: just here for the show
Man on cell: I wouldn’t worry about her though, she’s dead.
Newark airport
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: catherine
